Thoughts After A Night Getting Whipped at a Seoul SM Bar

I remember a quote I read in some obscure book¹ that (paraphrasing) was essentially: I write for the month, not the week, not the day.

The character, a Writer, not a Hack, was saying, he wrote important things that mattered tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. I feel these conflicting pressures as a writer. I enjoy writing long-form and erotica most of all, and that shit takes time to think about, to plan, and to write. But I also want to keep my Substack updated, and I want to tell everyone about what I did. Plus my computer is only at 10% battery. I’m about to head out to a concert tonight where Silky Haejin and her band Silkwarms will perform along with a bunch of other bands from the Unicorn Erotika label. So I’m going to share with you some of my bullet-pointed thoughts and stories as quickly as I can.

• I met Ella last night. She’s visiting Seoul from a foreign country for a short business trip. We went to an SM bar. She whipped me hard and left beautiful marks.

• You’ll read more about Ella later—or at least about the fictionalized version of Ella that will be about 80% true to the Ella I experienced that night—as she was the inspiration for the “Ella” character I am writing in an erotic novella.

• She comes off as sweet when you meet and share hearty Korean pub food with her. She’s a great conversationalist, and it was fun sharing my BDSM origin story with her and hearing about hers. And when she plays, she lets her sadism really show.

• I mistakenly wrote, “But when she plays…” However, you should only use “but” when you’re making a contrast. Actually, a woman who hits you in the balls and pulls your hair and takes great pleasure in torturing you as a man is a very lovely and sweet woman indeed. Most women don’t engage in such enjoyable activities that fill me with thrill and stimulate my desires.

• Yes, Ella really loved pulling my hair. She pulled it hard. She rubbed her hands in my hair, held it by the roots, twisted it around her fingers in a spiral and pulled hard. It did hurt. Being in masochistic sub space, it was oddly enjoyable.

• Ella could see from my face—my eyes scrunched closed, my cheek muscles tightening—that it hurt; she loved to comment on how much I was suffering.

• I still feel a little bit of raw pain on my head.

• I mentioned I’m an exhibitionist, so I enjoyed the fact that about six Koreans entered the play area to sit and watch while Ella was whipping, spanking, and toying with me.

• Ella, on the other hand, she said it was her first time to play in front of others. Fun to introduce someone to that feeling.

• One last funny thought I had: Before I left for the trip, I bumped the side of my knee against the edge of my bed, and that FUCKING HURT. I was cursing my stupidity and the stupid bedframe as I was getting my shit packed and ready to go on a trip where my first stop was to be an SM bar.

1. I think it was The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit, but I can’t be sure.