We Treat Drinking as a Pastime. It Shouldn’t Be.

Drinking is a pastime I've given up.

At the comedy open mic last night, I drank coffee when I was on stage. It was the first time of many that I will do so. Drinking is no longer a pastime of mine.

Part of the problem is we don’t recognize how and why we use alcohol. For many of use, getting drunk is a pastime. It shouldn’t be, but we unknowingly treat it as such.

Ask your drinking buddy, “What do you want to do tonight?”

He might respond, “Let’s go out and drink.”

We act like drinking is an activity in and of itself. The style of the average bar in Thailand is a testament to this fact. There are streets lined with shack after shack of pool tables, generic designs, and the same top-40 music playing as at the identical one next door. People don’t go to those places because they are interesting, fun, or because they attract cool people. They go there because there’s beer.

It’s the same with any sports bar in America.

I appreciate that some people really love trying unique whiskies. They know the flavor notes, the history of the distiller, and they can separate the tasting of whisky from the act of drinking. Then you can call whisky appreciation a hobby. Maybe.

But if you’re drinking Chang and chatting up an employee at a bar in Pattaya, or trying to convince yourself that the drunken stories of an old British guy who has lived in Thai bars for 30 years are interesting, then you’re fooling yourself.

Maybe your drinking buddy will say, “There’s this cool bar I want to check out.”

Maybe that bar has an amazing DJ who spins music you can’t hear anywhere else (the Deaf Shop). Maybe it puts on concerts featuring hardcore punk bands from around the world (Yoda’s CNX). Maybe it hosts the only weekly standup comedy show in Chiang Mai (the Moat House).

Then there’s an actual reason to go out. When Ari went out to the punk show starring the Chinese riot grrrls group Dummy Toys, he didn’t drink. He just jumped up and down and bashed into people in the mosh pit. He had an amazing time. Some of the people who did drink were spilling their beer everywhere as they tried to mosh. One dropped his bottle on the floor and cut his hand.

Why do I go to the Moat House on Thursdays? To perform comedy. Comedy is my hobby. Not drinking. Being sober on Thursday night, I found I could focus on my craft.

After I left the stage, the jolly Irish fellow who attends all the shows offered to buy me a beer.

I said, “I appreciate the offer, but I am not drinking.”

He insisted.

I said, “If you want to buy me something, you can buy me a mocktail.”

A true Irishman, he responded, “What’s a mocktail?”

He didn’t buy me anything. He said he didn’t want to risk having his passport rescinded. I told him I understood. We got to talking, anyway. I didn’t need a beer—or a coffee—to talk.

“Too often, I would do something stupid, or, even if I didn’t, I would wake up with a hangover and be tired all day.”

“Do you feel like you were addicted?” he asked.

“In certain situations. Sometimes, I could limit myself to one or two beers. But I’m in a fun place, or if I’m drinking with fun people, I just can’t limit myself to one.”

“There’s no point in having just one. You should feel it. Make it worth it. When you go to bed, you should have a buzz going.”

“Yeah, I get it. That’s why I didn’t drink any.”

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Continue Reading and Watch a Clip from Ari’s Standup About The Worst Boss He Has Ever Had

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