Three Conversations That Could Only Happen in Korea

Plus: Clips from my comedy show in Seoul!

Overheard in a Korean BBQ Restaurant at 10:30 am

“You can have your meat.”

— White woman, approximate age: mid-to-late 40s, to husband, at approximately 10:30 am

“You can eat this.”

— White husband, balding, appearing experienced at the consumption of BBQ and beer, approximately same age as wife, pointing at a bowl of fermented green vegetables

“Ir iddang gogineun han gaeman jumunhaeya hamnida.”

— Waitress explaining how things work at BBQ joints in the Republic of Korea (I didn’t catch the waitress’s exact words, but it’s clear what her meaning was)

“I don’t eat meat.”

— Wife to waitress

“Han saram, han gaeman jumunhaeya!”

— Waitress reiterating the rules (paraphrased)

“I think she’s saying that we have to order one order for each person.”

— Husband to wife

[Husband smiles sheepishly as waitress delivers large portion of meat to table]

---

Overheard on a Seoul Bus

“[Rapid-fire Korean directed at the driver.]”

— Korean-American married woman, estimated age: 60s, visiting Korea for the first time in many years, who is standing next to the driver of Bus No. 9

“Nye, nye (Yes, yes).”

— Driver of Bus No. 9

“[More rapid fire Korean.]”

— The Korean-American woman

“[Quiet conversation in English. This observer couldn’t quite hear, but it seemed like small talk.]”

— American man, the husband of the woman, also in his 60s, talking to their daughter as the two of them block the doorway

“Nye.”

— The bus driver

[One-sided conversation with the bus driver continues for about five minutes]

“He says we have to make our transfers within thirty minutes.”

- Korean-American wife delivers her findings to her family

Seen in an Itaewon Comedy Club

White American, mid-30s, empties his backpack out on the table, showing the contents to include a collar, a… [SEE IN THE FULL POST]

Heard in an Itaewon Comedy Club

“I was at the charity show for LGBT youth. After the show, I was talking to a Korean woman. She saw my collar, and she asked me if that meant I was gay. I said, ‘No, it means I’m submissive.’

She said, ‘I don’t know what submissive means. Does that mean you are gay?’

I said, ‘No, it means I’m a masochist.’

She said she still didn’t understand.

I said, ‘That means, if you slap me, I would say, Thank you, Mistress, may I have another?’”

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