Is Cooking a Turn On for You?
"Steamed Hams" isn't so far off; 33% of Americans have tried to pass off store-bought food as their own.
Seven-in-ten Americans say that cooking is their love language, according to a 2021 survey, and 86% said they're turned on if their date cooks for them.
In the interest of full disclosure, the survey was commissioned by the Little Potato Company, which sells what appears to be a variety of patented "easy to prep, ready to cook" potatoes. I'm not saying they're behind a conspiracy to convince the romance-starved to buy their product, but it just so happens that the "most romantic home-cooked meal," according to their survey, is "steak and potatoes."
There's something fishy there. Indeed, sushi came in at No. 9 with 12% of the vote. (A plate of oysters wasn't among the options.) Look, if I'm going to somebody's house for a meal, and I find them serving me a dish of raw fish with rice, I'm probably not thinking it's sexy at first. I'm thinking twice about eating it and then not agreeing to a second date until a couple of days later. Of course, sushi can be made with cooked fish or meats and vegetables, for that matter, but if it ain't raw, to me, it's kimbab, and kimbab, while tasty, ain't sexy, either. Now, if I did happen to meet a Japanese girl who can dice up fresh fish like a pro, well, that would be pretty fucking sexy.
They say cooking is a "turn on," and 80% of Americans supposedly would be more likely to go on a second date with someone who talks about how good they are at cooking on the first date. But you might want to make sure that's actually true if you're planning on getting a fourth date.
You don't have to be an expert chief. Anything that a person you're lusting after cooks for you gets a couple of points' boost on the ratings scale.
And cooking ability ought not be a deal breaker. Six years ago, when my now-ex came to my apartment in China for one of our first dates, the overcooked, unseasoned bok choi and pork we made together didn't discourage us from staying together for two years. Perhaps cooking something terrible as a pair is the best way to bring two people closer! (It did discourage us from trying any more cooking dates, though.)
Now, however, cooking is a huge part of my relationship with my Queen, my Mistress, my Girlfriend, Nazz. At first she first brought curries from her mom's house to serve to me. You can't get that kind of rich, home-cooked flavor at Thai restaurants. Then Nazz took her mom's recipes and started cooking them.
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She didn't know the precise measurements of everything. Her mom, she said, cooks by feeling. Gradually, she's been able to hone her cooking skills. She put more effort into learning cooking because she's cooking for someone she loves. She gets better every time, and she learns farang dishes as well as Thai.
Last night, Nazz cooked one of her specialties: gaeng massaman, a coconut-based curry with cumin-y and lemongrass-y flavors, and onions, potatoes, and chicken. (Don't ask me to be a food critic. This is the best description I'll give you.) The broth was hearty. The potatoes were tender and infused with the flavor of the broth. The chicken was moist and fall-off-the-bone delicious.
"I love cooking for you," Queen Nazz says.
I love eating what she cooks for me.
I can't speak for Nazz. I don't really know how it feels to cook for someone who loves your cooking. I used to cook--or rather, try to cook--khai jiao (Thai omelette)--for her early in our relationship, but eventually she took over and started cooking khai jiao for us. You tell me what that means.
The one who loves you loves it when she or he can bring satisfaction to you. I love it when my massages (with my hands or tongue) make Nazz float on a cloud. I love it when she tells me so, and she loves it when I express my appreciation for her tasty meals that fill my belly.
It can also be healthy for people to develop roles within a relationship. We didn't have a discussion where Nazz decided she was going to be the cook and I was going to make the coffee. It just kind of happened because, well, Nazz was better at cooking and liked doing it more. Our other roles came about pretty much the same way--naturally.
And whose job is it to clean the dust off the floor? Electrolux, the robot vacuum.