How to Meet a Dominant Woman on Tinder
My experience
If you are a submissive guy reading this, you needs to determine what you are looking for before you fill out your profile. Are you looking for someone you can call “Mistress”? Are you looking for a play partner? Are you looking for a girlfriend? Do you want to be in a “normal” relationship 23 hours a day?
There’s one basic bottom line you should get out of the way early in your relationship: Is the fulfillment of your kink a necessity for your relationship? If she’s not into, say, whipping you, would you still want to have a relationship with her? If the answer from you is “no,” or if you are being a bitch who gives a wishy-washy answer, then it would be doing neither one of you good to keep up dating.
There are men who want to submit some of the time. There are men who like femdom sex but who also enjoy vanilla sex. There are men who like one thing in the bedroom and one thing on the street. We’re complicated. But you have to try to know who you are and who you want to be before you start something.
That’s why, if femdom/kinky sex is so important to you, then you should tell her early on, either in the chat or on the first date. Some guys are scared to tell a girl they are dating about their kinks. They feel ashamed. Feel like it makes them “weak.” No, it makes you weak if you are scared to talk about it.
I had come to the conclusion that my sexual nature was important enough a part of myself and my desires that it was something I wanted. The last time I had a long-term relationship before this one, I told her, J, on the first date, and it went well. She indulged my fantasies relatively frequently. It was always about what she wanted. That—serving and submitting—was itself part of my nature and my desires.
J was truly dominant in her personality. She said what she wanted. We did what she wanted. Traveled where she wanted. Dined where she wanted, etc.
But she was not such a perverted kinkster as myself. She could enjoy putting a leash on me or rubbing her feet over me when she was in the mood. If not, you, as a submissive man (or any man, for that matter—but I’m assuming a lot of my subscribers are sub males), should not demand she do it. It goes against the whole idea of your submission.
The relationship with J was good as long as it lasted (with the ups and downs, sometimes quite emotional, as relationships go), but it didn’t work our for various reasons. (I might write about it later.)
If you read my book, Learning to Love My Leash, you already know about my next relationship and my current relationship. That with Queen Nazz. She’s my girlfriend first and foremost. She’s also my mistress, my queen, the lady I adore, the woman whom I serve.
Haven’t read REAL LIFE FEMDOM: LEARNING TO LOVE MY LEASH yet? What are you waiting for? Read it on Kindle today!
“Why did you want to come and stay here?” Nazz said. “Didn’t you feel you wanted to take an adventure? To try something on a whim? Because you didn’t want to put on a suit and go back to the real world so soon?"
Mistress Nazz was right. I needed an escape from this boring world. But could I really put a dog collar and leash on and be led all through the market? Could I really take the caning and punishments that awaited me if I was a bad dog?
In this true story, I delve into my thinking and my emotions as I submit to my Thai Mistress and receive training from her. I release my inner thoughts towards submission. I also share the humorous stories that she and I experienced on our trip to a small town in Northern Thailand. Join me, Ari, Nazz, a self-employed lady boss, and Namtaan, my persona as a dog, as we go over curvy mountain roads, past temples, and stay in a cabin lodged in between rice paddies.
Purchase Learning to Love My Leash for $2.99 or download it for free on Kindle Unlimited.
We have a complex relationship. She cooks for me. She does my dishes and helps with my laundry sometimes. I put her socks on for her and give her long massages at night. Our relationship took some negotiation and learning to get to the point where it is at.
She found me on Tinder. She found a man wearing a leather collar with rings and chains hanging down as my main photo. It’s a collar that can be worn as an unorthodox fashion item in vanilla settings, but it is also unmistakably kinky to anyone who is of the mind. My next photo was a drawing of Phyllis riding Aristotle. It’s a historical story—the daughter or lover (depends on who is telling it) of one of Aristotle’s students seduces him and rides him around town—that has been turned into high art. The power dynamic is obvious in the image, but there’s no over obscenity portrayed.
My match rate was low, but my hit rate for matches was high. Those who I matched with were more likely to be open and interested in kinky sex. If that’s what you’re looking for, it doesn’t help to wade through a pile of matches with whom you don’t have chemistry—while also being more likely to miss the people who might also be seeking that which you are seeking.
Don’t post some vague codeword in your bio like, “I am looking for a Queen to serve.” Even if someone reads it, they might not know what you mean. The vanilla women might swipe right if your photos and profile are otherwise to their liking.
Be clear about what you are looking for, and make your profile with the intent to find it.
